You DESERVE Freedom: Refuse to be Silent about Domestic Violence with Darleen Wong

Alysha Myronuk: 00:00:03

Hi, and welcome to the That's Myrony podcast. My name's Alicia Myronuk, and I am your host and creator of this fun new concept. But first, what exactly is myrony? Well, my irony or myrony are those crazy coincidences that happen in life that you just can't explain. It's also another word for sign or synchronicity. We've all experienced these throughout our lives. But what if you started paying closer attention to your ironies? What if you started connecting the dots, or, as I like to say, follow the spiritual breadcrumbs that could have an impact so big that it changes your life forever? Not to mention the lives of others. Now, That's Myrony.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:00:51

Hi, Darleen, thank you so much for joining me today. Um, that's my irony podcasts and so excited to finally have you be able to share your story openly. And it's actually quite ironic how you and I connected so welcome.

Darleen Wong: 00:01:14

Thank you, Alicia.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:01:16

Well, I first want to i as before we started recording, I said, I actually wanted to read your bio with you present, because this is who you are. And you're one of the most beautiful souls that I know. And I even though we only know each other, virtually, I feel like I've known you for like ever. So anyway, everybody hear how who Darleen is. And this was actually just told me that a friend of yours wrote this poem. So this isn't what Darleen wrote about herself. This was someone else who saw this beautiful image of who she is as a dragon fly. It says Darleen is a dragon fly. Oh, actually, I'm sorry. I got started off with Darleen Wong. And then it's Darleen is a dragon fly. A dragon fly understands that one must wait. That the darkness until today has been simply the passage of transformation and the only way out. So the answers are not clear. A dragonfly does not lose faith. She believes her strength and agility will soon reach the light. And when she does, her wings will shimmer bright. How beautiful is that? So here is also who Darleen is. Welcome to Newseum, they believe. Viva Tech. Hope I said that Okay. Which means to be free like a dragonfly. This magical radical transformation is necessary for the growth, safety and protection of every single girl and woman on this planet. We all deserve freedom, darlings. Freedom from gender inequality, freedom of speech, freedom from a broken system. Women are not meant to keep swimming against the current. Eventually they just drown. This is called femicide. Darleen has been born and raised in Montreal, Quebec, Canada. Darleen sits and waits patiently for your support and unconditional love. Because this Sterling believes she can change the world. And oh my goodness, can you ever so now welcome Jeremy Wong. Thank you, Alicia,

Darleen Wong: 00:03:32

you read that really? Well.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:03:33

Your vow? Well, thank you. It's been a long time since I've spoken French. I did study it for many years. But you know, if you don't use it, you lose it. So anyway, I'm so excited to hear more about this. Unbelievable, because you've been in it involved in it. But this how you are here to help women who don't have voices it seems. But I want to first share with our listeners, how we connected because it was through another incredible organization, one woman international with Sharla Brown. And she is so amazing, because she gives women voices that usually aren't heard either. And so how did you connect with Sharla in the first place?

Darleen Wong: 00:04:23

i i Actually I don't even know who she is. But I just knew that she was supplying this platform that was safe for women to speak their voice and I said, You know what, that's where I need to speak because women are going to listen to what I need to say is so important that I need to make sure my audience is there and and want what I want him there to offer.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:04:52

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. Well, it's funny because I actually met Charlotte personally. In 2000 The 19 I was intuitively you know, my crazy gift of knowing my Claire cognizance is just I do things without knowing why I was told to go to this one woman event in San Jose, California where I am. And you're in Quebec. Well, Montreal, Quebec, which I know it's Quebec, right? Isn't that how you pronounce it, but tomato, tomahto, tomato tomahto sort of thing. But the thing was, is that I went and I connected with Sharla. And it was so interesting, because she told me how I was meant to be on one woman stage one day to tell my story like it was we were so divinely brought together. And then right before you were going to be speaking, I was actually divinely brought together in a different way to create my signature talk. And she's like, You should join, I was speaking on August 15, of 2020. And she's like you should join. So you can see how the virtual platform is because this was right at the time of we were in the middle of COVID. This so this is like the first couple of virtual stages that she hosted. And, and just for people who don't know, Charlotte Brown of one woman, she literally is trying to help women around the world with whatever it is that they need. So in some cases, in a country, if a goat is going to be the most profitable for them, that's what she's going to get them. So it's not this cookie cutter way of looking at how can we help, we help how we best can help, right. And so the platform that she gives women is just so powerful. So we just want to give big shout out to Charlotte Brown, and also her partner, Jackie Somerville, that they, they really are making massive impact in this world. And right now, as we speak, they're in Greece, having a lot of fun. You can see those pictures, right. So, but then it was so funny, because you know, you it was your first time speaking, right. You hadn't publicly really spoken at that point, or have you?

Darleen Wong: 00:07:07

I have I've been a Toastmaster since 2012. Oh, wow.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:07:12

I didn't realize that. Yes. Oh, no wonder you were so good.

Darleen Wong: 00:07:19

I was so scared even if it was virtual, but I, I just knew that one day, I wanted someone to hear my voice and that I felt I had something important to say. So yeah, but my big first big speech, I guess, is the one woman. Oh, okay.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:07:35

Okay, so you have been preparing with Toastmasters. But you hadn't really been publicly besides Toastmasters? Because I know that's public speaking. But it is a little bit different. So Well, anyway, you were fabulous. And I felt your energy immediately and we connected and your story, I mean, is so powerful. So I now would love for you to share everything that you're doing. And I'm just so I'm just so grateful that I was divinely guided to connect, you know, to be on that one chance, because that's the whole idea with my irony is that it's synchronicity in motion. And so we had this, I heard your story, I felt your pain, I felt on a different level that maybe there's some, there's an awareness that I could share with you that could maybe help, you know, help, and you never know who that could help. And so I could have ignored it. But I did it we connected, right. And we connected and it was like, that was a pretty strong connection right from the beginning. But that's how these things happen. So I just want to encourage the listeners when you feel those gut polls, do something about it, because you have no idea what you're missing when you don't. And so I just want to point that out. So anyway, Darleen, please share, share your story and what is going on currently with you.

Darleen Wong: 00:09:04

Thank you so much for that entire introduction. And you know, I don't even know exactly where to start because it this story just keeps it keeps gaining more and more layers. But to

Alysha Myronuk: 00:09:23

well, we can always do a part two. So you know, we're just

Darleen Wong: 00:09:28

gonna start with part one. Part One Exactly. One. So my name is Darleen Wong. I am a dragon fly in Quebec. I am Lalibela feminist domov AR, and it's, it's basically symbolic. I'm like the feminist messenger, I guess around here, and a lot of women call me up to know where they can seek safety. And when I mean safety is usually related to I'm intimate partner violence, domestic violence, family violence, post separation violence. And I've helped lots of women actually just break as quick as possible from the, from the abuser controlling them, of course, in doing these types of actions, and I'm doing it because I feel that it's right to do that every woman should stand up for every woman, well, I get attacked back. And there's a lot of men who are not very comfortable having me around their wives or girlfriends, because I'm able to empower educate them about how to get around to this system. Now, this system in Quebec, is not the same as the rest of Canada. Quebec seems to be the one that wants to really hold and control women to a state where you're living in the 1920s 1940s. Wow, does that really make sense anymore? No, I'll tell you how I've come to realize all the different potholes or holes that are are missing in the system. And women here are literally were they're dying. There's women actually dying on the streets in Montreal. And our government says that there's no systemic violence. Why it's. So that's where like it really comes from, it's the way Quebec hers are conditioned to think, basically camouflage as it blurs their vision of like the reality of women's rights. And for it's going to be six years now that I myself, trying to flee domestic violence. And even though I've made endless police reports, and the person has been arrested more than once, it doesn't enter the context that is allowed to be spoken about in family court. So basically, if you're, you've been arrested before you've had many misdemeanors, that has nothing to do with child custody.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:12:44

Wait a second, hold on. I just need a pause there. You're saying that if somebody gets arrested, and for abuse, that is not put into the actual custody case?

Darleen Wong: 00:12:58

No, it's completely omitted.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:13:03

Oh, how is that possible? I'm sorry. I'm just,

Darleen Wong: 00:13:07

that's, that's, that's what I'm saying too. And it's really sad, because the way the way the system is here, like I said, especially in CABAC, is that they want to give as many rights as possible to the male, the Father, in order to, to really give the children the opportunity to be equally with each of the parents, but in cases of domestic violence, where there's a lot of psychological abuse, which is also not accepted in court here. Yes, there is so much pain when it comes to mothers and children. Mothers are being separated from their children in Quebec, every single day. And this has been happening here for over 30 years. I know this because I've had to go and seek myself shelter during COVID, which was the worst time here in you know, all over the world for especially if you're a single mom, for any type of family violence. So I seek refuge in a shelter and that's when I first realized how big the industry is here for women's shelters like these are real running businesses. With full offices. We've got caseworkers for every single type of case. We've got lots of place to Oops to stay to sleep over lots of rooms. And they even have another system where they keep you under protection for another year, and you have your own apartment. But what is really, really, really messed up is that and at the same time, I'd like to tell women that if you are unsure of your own situation and your own safety and your children's, the best solution for you is to actually go to a shelter, you receive immediately. confidentiality. So if your abuser is trying to find you, he cannot,

Alysha Myronuk: 00:15:49

okay. But

Darleen Wong: 00:15:51

if he does, he is not criminalized, he is not penalized. And that's what happened with me. So I am always always trying to find a way to protect myself, I moved seven times,

Alysha Myronuk: 00:16:09

just during COVID Oh, my goodness

Darleen Wong: 00:16:12

with two children in order to seek protection. And in family court that we that was used against me, stating that I

Alysha Myronuk: 00:16:22

was unstable. Oh, my goodness.

Darleen Wong: 00:16:26

And even though the judge knew that the abuser had been already arrested a few times, the fact that he was stable, that he has family and support system. The children are now 75% of the time with him, Oh, my God, hold on, it gets even more disgusting. So because I've been through so much trauma, I couldn't work, I couldn't work also living in a shelter. I was I was my income was from the government, I was receiving social assistance. And even though the judge knew that, I'm still having to pay child support to this year. Yeah, it's crazy. And that's like, unheard of. And our government says there is no systemic violence. I've never been arrested. I've never done anything illegal, I have been doing the best I can to just protect myself and my children with the opportunities that the government has to offer. But the way the system is built, when a woman is fleeing domestic violence, is that she gets trapped in a system that the government has basically, neglected, it's broken. And we all these women are running in a circle in a cycle of violence over and over again, and we just get re victimized over and over again, never be able to get out. We never get out. So now I'm at the point where, you know, I'm even having to pay child support. I'm on social assistance, which doesn't make any sense. And I don't have I barely see my children and my children are also not allowed to receive any therapy. Because Massoud does not want that.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:18:38

No, okay. No wonder you need to tell your story on a, you know, on a US podcast, because this is crazy.

Darleen Wong: 00:18:47

And I've tried to say it here, and I've been banned from the media.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:18:52

Well, the good thing is, is that you will have a link and you'll be able to share and you have no idea who's going to hear this and who knows even I mean, granted, I don't know, you know, the government, the government, the government, but if more awareness because the question is how many people know this is going on? Because you mentioned that this is worse than anywhere else in Canada. So and I know Quebec has always been Quebec quad and all that, like it's always been separate, because I'm actually Canadian. My both my parents were Canadian. So I'm technically half Canadian, I guess. And I always, I always remember being brought up French Canadian is different than Canadian. And I was just like, well, I don't understand. And I remember when, when I was younger, and they were trying to make French the primary language and I was like, that is really stupid. It says little tiny area compared to all of Canada. Why? And then I was just like, well, that's just pride. Like, that's just doesn't even make sense. And, I mean, I'm a very honest person, so I'm just gonna say what it was. That's like, this isn't even real French, it's not even Parisian French, just this other. I don't mean it because, you know, in these kinds of situations you kind of have to make you got to make a little bit of lightness, because otherwise it's just like, ah, that is just to me, this is so stupid. How is this possible?

Darleen Wong: 00:20:24

And you know what? They just passed a bill like about last week, I think, to impose French in every single public space in Quebec. And there they even they're hiring a language police to go around the city in all the restaurants and all the schools, even if you go to an English school to make sure that even the children are speaking in French in the hallways, if not everyone gets a ticket. It's it's re ridiculous.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:20:58

Oh, wow. No wonder I brought up about the French thing, because that's, well, what are they? What are they trying to create here in,

Darleen Wong: 00:21:08

everybody went up to the pub to premier Francois oligos office because, again, this is a man who is completely disconnected from the reality of His people. And he doesn't care. Doesn't care, he only cares about himself, you know, like a dictator. It is completely that and that's what I noticed, once I got to the women's shelter, that it is really controlled by the government, even the shelters are controlled, like that. And I'm like, this can't be the like, this man cannot be handling all these women who are going through domestic violence. He has no idea what this is about. Right? So all these women are depending on him. You know, they're codependent on him. And he gives, like the least amount of support to women and children. Oh, that's we're on our bottom of the list.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:22:11

And so I and again, you said that it's not like this everywhere else in Canada. So how, I mean, what is it that people can do to try to help or what?

Darleen Wong: 00:22:24

You know what, I think there's there is a lack of protection laws that protect specifically mothers and children. It's Oh, yeah. Are you very patriarchal here, like, it's too much. That's why I'm saying, you know, women today, it's 2022. We're independent. We like to do our own thing. We have our own bank accounts. You know, like we don't we don't have to do this codependent thing, but the way the system is still working here is that you have to be dependent on someone else. And I've been to criminal court a few times to from the abuser because of the abusers. And they get away with it because the prosecutor themselves on the detective themselves tell me, Darleen, once you get another man in your life, he'll leave you alone. Oh, that's what I got. Even in the women's shelters here. There was one that I went to, and they were educating women on how to find the perfect man.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:23:38

Oh, my goodness. And I'm

Darleen Wong: 00:23:41

like, there is a serious problem is

Alysha Myronuk: 00:23:45

like the freakin Handmaid's Tale.

Darleen Wong: 00:23:47

I'm sure all of you are not up. This is not today's world does it makes no sense

Alysha Myronuk: 00:23:55

that you know violence whatever against women are you that the man is able to do whatever Are you familiar with The Handmaid's Tale, because if not, you should check it out on me. And it's crazy, because it's actually about it could take place in this during this time period. And the way that the men are the women, it's just, ah, how disgusting but like, the question is, does I mean, you know, being here in the United States, it's much harder to make impact in another country on a What am I trying to say, you know, like, to be able, I mean, I think it's so important to bring awareness and, you know, who knows how, with just being able to share your voice, but my question is, does the rest of Canada know what's going on? Because, I mean, unfortunately, domestic violence happens everywhere. And and so yeah, I'm curious, do the other domestic violence you know, organizations in Canada do they realize or is it just because This person, I don't even know his name. Sorry. I'm not, you know, trying to be his just trying to be a dictatorship.

Darleen Wong: 00:25:11

Pretty much. Yes, the rest of Canada does know, I'm a member of the Canadian Women's Foundation and I a responder signal for help. So I've done this a few times already on the one woman show so that I can teach women all over the world that if you need to seek help, you can do it in a very silent way. There's when you speak about it, no one listens. Down, away. There's a stigma so high here, that even the judges, you know, that's that's where it comes from. Even the judge was ashamed of me for seeking shelter. Like so you think is is good. It's good to go to a shelter with the children. I'm like, Yes, this is the of course, that's what it's for. But like, no, that's, that's the worst thing you can do. So that means like, in order for, it basically makes it impossible for a woman to truly leave a domestic violence situation,

Alysha Myronuk: 00:26:20

apparently, until she gets another man, then next, and the man is going to leave her alone. That is.

Darleen Wong: 00:26:28

And it's obvious that it's not true, because in my situation, I left mine in 2016. And it's 2022. And I've had 11. Lawyers,

Alysha Myronuk: 00:26:40

sigma that lawyers, yeah.

Darleen Wong: 00:26:42

And six of them are just from the legal aid. So these are like free by the government. And all of them quit because there is no law that protects women from domestic violence in Canada. So if you go into court for any for that situation, like forget it, there's they even laugh at you. I've had on the paper when they've canceled my my file saying very little chance of success.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:27:13

Oh, my God. Your roads?

Darleen Wong: 00:27:16

Yes. Yes. So it's so bad, you're literally stuck. And then if you leave, which is what I did, you lose everything. And you're then like, victimized even more by the abuser, and by the institution themselves, and enabling it over and over again. And some women have had to go to

Alysha Myronuk: 00:27:46

jail. Yeah, I was just about to bring that up. We talked privately on the floor. And you said that women are going to jail because they're not able to pay this ridiculous. I mean,

Darleen Wong: 00:27:58

they they're just not able to they're not even allowed to speak for themselves, because domestic violence doesn't exist. If the government saying it doesn't exist, and the law is saying it doesn't exist, then it doesn't exist. Even if you're bruised up, even if you're running away, even if you have police reports, even if the guy's been in jail.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:28:24

Oh my god. It sounds really as a Handmaid's Tale.

Darleen Wong: 00:28:28

It's a Boolean system. And that's why when I was interviewed on the news here, and it was CTV News, Montreal, we did an entire documentary with a bunch of women like me in Montreal going through the exact same thing. They did not publish it.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:28:47

Wow. So

Darleen Wong: 00:28:49

yeah. So they don't want anyone to know.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:28:52

No, they don't because they I sweat Do you know what I'm talking about the book The Handmaid's Tale, but there's a show The Handmaid's Tale. No, I don't know. Okay, so it's funny because it's Margaret Atwood is the author. She's a Canadian author. And it's this it's this futuristic society that's not too far in the future where they basically women because we polluted the world too much. They women are not able to have kids anymore and so there's only a small percentage is able to have these kids. So then this extremist group who's overly religious who thinks that God is angry at them is they start living out the Old Testament in the most horrific way possible and the the the brutality that is in this the no one knows what's going on. Because it was like it's based in like the Boston area. I mean, it is crazy. It it literally sounds like what you're going through, because women have absolutely no rights whatsoever. Like they it's just shocking. No, I'm so it's like, okay, so what is the solution? I guess just getting this out there because people don't know like, I would never in a million years I mean, okay, I do know some countries where women have absolutely no rights. I did not think it was happening it happening in Montreal like that is unbelievable.

Darleen Wong: 00:30:25

Right? And that's the park. Yes, that's the part where when I started to speak up about what I was actually experiencing, people were like in shock, because it is. So it's They silenced women to the point where, like me, I'm paying child support now. And they retroactively even added extra months. So I owe like hundreds of dollars, like by this week, actually. And not

Alysha Myronuk: 00:30:55

if you don't have any, if you don't have it, what happens?

Darleen Wong: 00:30:59

Well, then then you get re victimized again, like it's just it's so

Alysha Myronuk: 00:31:03

easy, and you just get put back into the system. And that's it.

Darleen Wong: 00:31:08

That's it. There's women that have gone to jail over and over again, you know, to protect their rights to protect their children. I mean, we have this thing here called amber or amber alert. And it's when it's a signal that happens on your cell phone when when a child is gone missing, right? But the the way it's handled here is inhumane. The mother and the child running on foot to escape. We don't know what is called a kidnapper. And the Amber Alert States her as saying that she is abducting her child.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:31:59

Oh my god. I'm serious. Darleen if you watch the freakin Handmaid's Tale, it's on Hulu. It is literally what you are saying, like a dagli, while they're trying to do is protect their children from being taken away from them. And what I found

Darleen Wong: 00:32:17

we're missing here is someone to represent women's rights. Because all these men, these politicians, these lawyers and judges, they are only on one side. That's all they know. That's all they've been conditioned to do. That's all they studied, that they don't know it unless they've actually been in the situation.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:32:39

How can you I mean, how can someone turned a blind eye to be to say that there's no abuse? And this person can just be doing that to the person like that is? Wow.

Darleen Wong: 00:32:53

Yeah. So I'm exhausted mentally. I've had to go to three different shelters to seek safety. All of those were used against me in court. And now my children are crying all the time. And I'm pleading with their father to please, let's give them therapy. But the law says we need his signature to

Alysha Myronuk: 00:33:21

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I mean, but you're so strong, because you're trying to be a voice for all these women that don't have a voice and, you know, what is some of the things that people could do? Do you think I mean, just just being brought this with me, it's more than being brought this awareness? I mean, I, I wish I wish I could come up with a solution in the sense but you know, just being able to share your story because like you said, you couldn't share your story where you are. They silenced you.

Darleen Wong: 00:33:51

I tried. I try. But if you're by me and I was banned, even from that Toastmasters club that I was in,

Alysha Myronuk: 00:33:59

you were banned. Yep. Wait, hold on. How did you get banned from Toastmasters?

Darleen Wong: 00:34:05

Exactly. I try to speak to the highest of the leaders here. And again, women's rights. We have no voice here. And I think because it is such Montreal, it is diverse here. And I think because there's so much diversity and everyone is seeing what's going on and they're trying to speak up. They're just they're just swallowing more water. They're drowning in their own words. And that's what if and then those people become basically they disappear. Who food people are disappearing in Montreal, women are disappearing in Montreal. There's marches happening here every So couple of months for the missing sisters. Yes, it is so frightening. And it's to the point where I believe the only way we can really help this situation is by listening. I think people forgot how to listen. And they just judge. You know, I don't expect people to know how I've lived through this or where I come from and what I've been through. But I'm speaking from truth. And truth isn't is considered a lie in court. My judgment says that I need serious help. Yes, because I was telling the truth. So there's no, there's no way out, I feel we need something that's radical, kind of like a transformation from into a dragon fly, we need to get out of the water because we don't belong in the water, an eternity now, and I have come up with a solution. But I think it's something that needs to be exposed in a in a different way. And I'm still working on it. But it's about creating a feminist law, the first feminist law, you can turn that into an international law, right? To protect all women? Yes. Because every one of all the men, you can see it in different parts of the world, even the United States with the abortion stuff, you know, everyone is trying to go backwards, because they sense that women are really coming forward, and we're standing, you know, like, Yep, the

Alysha Myronuk: 00:36:38

patriarchal society is so worried about women's voices like, very, very true. Yeah,

Darleen Wong: 00:36:44

we shouldn't be asking any more like what we can do or not do with our bodies? There is no, I think, like, it's either the patriarchy is completely abolished, where we create a generation equality, where the woman decides if she wants to be represented by the patriarchy, or by the generation equality system. But

Alysha Myronuk: 00:37:09

absolutely, it should not yet. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm glad that you were able to share your story. I wish that there was more solutions right now. But I do think that by bringing awareness because I know, I know, people, you know, not only in here in the United States, but you know, I don't think everybody in Canada would know what's going on around the world that a place this isn't a Third World, this isn't a third world country. You know, this isn't supposed to be a dictatorship. This is Canada that we're talking about, like that is unbelievable. Well, what's Well, I want to do also share about you as such a beautiful artist, and how can support at least your art in this because, you know, your Dragonfly is your symbol, and the fact that we now know what the meaning of that symbol is. So what is please share your share your story as an artist also.

Darleen Wong: 00:38:15

Well, I've dedicated now all my art to trying to pass a feminist law. So everything is very symbolic towards feminism and women's rights. So that's, that's where I'm at. I'm recognized by the Canadian Women's Foundation sosv analyst Colin Chagall, which is the the emergency number here for domestic violence. And I'm doing I'm just doing my part, you know, everyone is trying to do their part to to make people aware.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:38:48

And I just want to say you're making a symbol on your hand for those that are just listening to this, because we are going to be having this as YouTube also. But the symbol that you're making, it's what is it? I mean, it almost looks like sign language. It is like,

Darleen Wong: 00:39:07

it is because a lot of women and domestic violence situations have a hard time speaking or telling someone that something is wrong. I'll give you an example. I'll invite you over to dinner and my husband is there but I'm scared of him. But I don't want to tell you but I really want to tell you like the there's something wrong. Instead of me actually using my words, I just use a hand signal. And you just put your hands out you tuck in your thumb and then all four right over the thumb. And that is signal for help. And it's made by the Canadian Women's Foundation. Okay, it has become now International.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:39:48

Oh, wow. That's That's wonderful. Is there? Is there a website or something that somebody if they're listening that they can make sure they understand what that symbol is that they could see? At what would that be? So,

Darleen Wong: 00:40:02

on my Instagram, I'll give you the link on in my bio I have all of the steps. So

Alysha Myronuk: 00:40:10

we will, it will be there. It will be in the it will be in your in the show notes under your bio, but if you can just share what your if you want to share what your Instagram is if that's okay, just because sometimes people don't go to show notes.

Darleen Wong: 00:40:26

Yes, so my Instagram is boudoir therapy underscore, and you'll see a big dragonfly. In the bio, you'll see the link for the Canadian Women's Foundation you'll see for the SOS funerals closure guide you'll basically have all the steps of what you need to do to get out of a violent situation in the most silent way possible.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:40:49

Oh wonderful. Well speaking of boudoir therapy, your boudoir is that you create for women who anybody that wants to work with you they're gonna have the most beautiful boudoir ever who are so talented in your design on so many levels. So is there a way what's the best way for people to conceive? Anyway, unless listening that needs to have their they want to turn their bedroom into a boudoir then you want to share? What's the difference between a bedroom and a boudoir?

Darleen Wong: 00:41:25

Yes, a boudoir is your own private space. No one else is allowed in there. It's kind of like the opposite of the man cave. You know, they always get the basement, they get their guys over beer pool table, while we get a nice luxurious bedroom or a setup where it's very relaxing, very meditative. Right now I'm sitting actually on a Japanese poof that I make myself to

Alysha Myronuk: 00:41:53

sleep. Let's see, let's see the poop for those that are on YouTube that can see that. Right? Oh,

Darleen Wong: 00:41:59

Sherry is crushed velvet on one app. And then this is a nice Rosae that I put on this side. So they're all made like this are nice and big. And you can sit on them, you can meditate. It's all about sitting still and taking the time for yourself. And that's the whole idea behind the boudoir. Yeah, it's just for you. And I've done already with other clients where they've literally separated husband and wife have separated rooms. She has her boudoir, he has his own bedroom. And they invite each other. If they want to sleep with each other, Oh, wow. Well, you get a better better rest. They have their own space, they can customize it as they want. You know, they don't have to be like finding like a way in in the middle. Yeah, well, her little fluffiness and he wants it all flat and blue. That's fine. And everyone's happy.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:42:59

Well, you are I mean, you are so magical, like the dragon fly, because they're they're pretty magical creatures, right? And you the magic that you're creating to try to help women's voices, but just who you are as an artist, I mean, you are wow, I didn't realize how unbelievably complicated the system is that you're in, you know, like, it's an I just, I just pray that by being able to share your voice and you know, it's going to reach the right people. And it's going to, you know, well first hopefully bring hope to the women that are in it. But also bring this awareness and be able to share with people in a safe space, because obviously you haven't had that safe space to share it. But the beautiful thing with podcasts is that it reaches the world. And so we can share. And so I'm just going to encourage everybody that hears us, share it, share this episode, this is too important. Not this is not something we can turn a blind blind eye to. I mean, if this is what our world is coming to, this is a horrible,

Darleen Wong: 00:44:14

and that's why we really need to do this and solidarity and not just like with Canadian women. It's American, it is from everywhere. Like every single woman needs to hold hands. And this is where I felt that one woman can change the world.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:44:36

I agree with you and I even said reach out to Sharla reach out to Sharla because I'm curious that she knows to what's going on, you know, because she's not

Darleen Wong: 00:44:46

to this extent. Sorry. not to this extent No, I

Alysha Myronuk: 00:44:50

don't think so. I don't think gosh, she's one powerful woman you know, and and she is of that mindset, you know, one woman can change the world but it is it is that unity is that it is that solidarity. So, Well, Darleen, this has been such an honor and a privilege for you to share your story. And I mean, gonna do my best to help you. And you know, just bringing this awareness and how it can support you as an artist and as a designer. And so again, what's the best way I will be in the show notes, but what's the best way for people to connect with you?

Darleen Wong: 00:45:28

Instagram is always on there. So boudoir therapy underscore, and there's also Darleen Wong, underscore, and after that, you can find me almost Pinterest, Facebook. I'm a little bit everywhere.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:45:46

Now. Thank God you are because you are the dragonfly that's meant to be all around this world. So that's what

Darleen Wong: 00:45:53

I decide that no wonder I chose the dragonfly. I'm supposed to be like a little bit everywhere.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:46:01

Yeah, yes, yes. Well, I'm so grateful divine, my irony brought us together because we even have that we even have the date of 510. Right? That was I say, May 10 2015. I somehow had this unbelievable experience where I spent 24 hours with God, I know how crazy that sounds. But I will say that God is not wanting, he does not want this domestic. He doesn't want violence. He's giving he's giving humanity free will to choose to do and it's, it's so sad that this is what mankind can do to each other. And you know, and he's just shaking his head, like, Come on people. This isn't what it's about. But your your connection with with may 10. He was that was what you said was like You're like almost like, Aha, we have something we have something greater here, right? Yes. Yeah. Well, it's a it's, it's a, it's a sad connection. But it's not a sad connection. Because the truth is, you know, we are brought together and it's, it's we can't live in a world where everything is frickin rainbows and sunshine, and people want to be like, oh, you know, you just gotta raise your vibration, and no fans, all that bullshit, because you're not putting yourself in this, you're not this is not You're not at fault, you're not at this. And all the women listening who are in this, however, just know. I mean, in a weird way, on a soul level, for some reason, your Higher Self chose this, probably to have the voice that you are meant to have. But the biggest thing is that when we can look at ourselves, not as victims of our situations that for some reason, we're choosing this to create maybe a greater awareness or a greater understanding, or sometimes we choose pain for others. And that I know is why you chose this path. And so there's, there's something so much more divine, that's meant to be meant to come from it. But I will say, God absolutely does not want this and I'm being guided to share an actual message about this, do you mind me sharing one of the messages, please, because that's actually connected to why we may be in human form. And, and so it was to experience and be able to, you know, understand what love is, and physical touch and all the things that we we need in this world. And so give me one second because I wasn't I wasn't planning on this. But that's how it works. Because when a message is called, and so for anybody that's hearing what these messages were, I'm not the one that channeled the messages, I had this experience. And then I was guided to meet the amazing woman who did channel them. However, I'm the one that is guided to share them because I believe the reason I was not the one who channeled them is no one would believe I had this unbelievable experience with God and channel these profound messages. But how can you explain how I had I documented kind of like you've documented but, you know, I know people aren't gonna believe me, but I've documented as best I can. And how did I find the person that is channeling these beautiful, profound messages? And so, if Give me just one second while I pull this up, because I feel this is really, really, really important for women to hear, actually for humanity to hear. Because this is not a god. This is not what God wanted. And, you know, it's just, it's unbelievable that people think they can have, you know do this to other people? Well, I'm being guided to share, like quite a few Do you mind?

Darleen Wong: 00:50:06

It doesn't go I love it. I love

Alysha Myronuk: 00:50:10

it. i Okay, wants to hear. Okay, well, the first one I want to go to is actually Oh, wow. Okay, we're gonna be gone for like 10 minutes, it seems like really quickly. The thing is, is that for the for the women that are going through this, and how we can even look from a place of compassion is that for whatever reason, these men, or whoever is being abusive, somehow they're broken. Anger comes from fear. It's not love and anger, it's love and fear are the two sides of the coin. And no one wants to be this way. But on a soul level, they have to learn certain things to be able to grow. And if they choose not to grow, then they regress. And they keep progressing and progressing. And one of the most powerful messages I was given and if anybody wants to hear where this comes from, you can go to because sometimes people will be listening to this episode for the first one. They want to hear my spiritual story, they want to hear the original story of where my money came from. It's episode one and discover my irony and your inner superpower, because we all have it have this more greater intuition. But episode Yes, right. For those listening, that she was just flexing her muscles, because yes, it is a, it is a powerful superpower. And then if anybody wants to hear the story of the most crazy spiritual story, it's episode 57 through 59, that explains how I was how this all happened. And were these profound messages that I'm about to read. But the thing that I'm being guided to share, when I say I'm being guided, I have a very strong gift of clear cognizance. And it's like, I just, it's like you, you got to, you got to say what you got to say. So anyway, one of the most powerful things that allowed me to see when, when the world when you see just the horrible things happening in life, and how do we look at it from a place of compassion versus a place of judgment? And how we can do that is so Dr. Brian Weiss, he was a, an agnostic psychiatrist, who back in the 80s, I believe, risked his entire career because this was all connected to a patient who discovered she was tapping into her past lives. And she had so many fears and phobias. And what happened was that on a soul level, when she realized what it was that she was afraid of, in this current life, if she was able to relive it, it would be released. And so more and more came about. So that first book is called many lives, many masters. Well, this book called messages from the Masters, he was given this vision of earth being a one room schoolhouse, and we're all at different grades. And so if we want to look at the abuse going on, they're just a bunch of terrible toddlers running around not knowing what to do. And if they had the awareness, they would, they would absolutely not be that way, because that is not a love. And so I'm being guided to start with this first message which is, came out January 8 of 2017. And the messages all came out in 2016 and 17. As as realizing a problem contained within your own self is a spiritual step, understanding the problem and overcoming it is difficult. Awareness opens the door for acceptance and higher understanding. Overcoming can be fast or extremely slow and painful depending on the problem and your abilities. newfound knowledge and awareness of a problem must be realized and overcome in the moment of occurrence. Thus creating a pattern of discernment followed by decisive corrective action. repetitious correction of thoughts and actions is essential. Over time the corrective measures become habit, awareness comes with responsibility for action, you cannot correct that which you are not aware of. And in so many cases until people are ready to look themselves in the mirror of who they are. That awareness will never come. And so the next message I'm being guided to share is actually about abuse. And this came out January 16, of 17. These are the messages I thought I was going to be reading in your intro soul sessions that you could share And apparently they were meant for your your episode here.

Alysha Myronuk: 00:55:05

But this is a very, very powerful one. So, it says abuse is conceived by individual perception and awareness. One Spirit cannot determine what constitutes abuse for another spirit. abuse that is accepted and emotionally integrated by a weak spirit is sometimes met with stubborn, resistant and forceful action by a stronger, more progress spirit. Abuse suffered by progress spirit drives them to fight and become stronger by sheer will. The strong spirit refuses to accept the negativity of shame, anger and guilt imposed on them by the abuser. The weak spirit is trapped in fear, disbelief and denial. Their solution is acceptance and compliance. Confusion results in anxiety, powerlessness and guilt are assumed by the abused without finding clarity and resolve to rise above the abuse and the abuser. The abuser turns the negative emotions inward against themselves. The weak spirit lives with chronic pain and distress. The Embedded negative emotions become part of them and ultimately ignored. The unresolved emotional damage is managed with drugs, alcohol, sex cutting and other compulsive destructive behaviors. The weak spirit believes these coping mechanisms are logical within the context of their experience trauma and abuse, the intensity of their feelings and compulsions is only released through awareness and absolution of the self. The strong spirit refuses to accept the negative message of being bad, worthless and the instigator of the abuse. higher spiritual awareness seeks logical explanation, interpretation and resolute action, the stronger spirit must guide the weaker spirit. And you, my dear are one damn strong spirit. So

Darleen Wong: 00:57:15

I do believe it, because I know I'm in this for a reason. I'm just, I'm in it, it'll come out, it'll come out somehow

Alysha Myronuk: 00:57:25

it will, it will edit is it's about bringing this awareness but it's also recognizing there's there's a bigger picture and like, that was one of the things that I experienced in my experience was that no matter what's going on, life is good. Even in the darkest Life is good. There's a greater, you know, but I've also people want to accept our souls are eternal, and we never truly die. And we just keep growing. And, and when we can look at that. And for for everyone that has gone through abuse. And if you can just look at, it's not to ignore it. It's not to it's not to accept it. It's but it's to maybe look at it from the perspective that what happened to this person to be that way also, because no one is born in this way of being however, apparently from a soul spiritual way. The tendency is there. And this is the lesson that has to be learned. And so for anybody listening, one of the most powerful books also by Dr. Brian Weiss, and these books literally saved my life, I wouldn't be here without them. So that's why they become a major part of what I do is because I just want people to understand this awareness that can maybe help them during their darkest days, and one that actually talks about abuse is this one called through time into healing. And then the other one if you're ever to the point of suicide, because you want to escape, same soul many bodies is the only reason why I'm still alive. And believe me, Darleen, I did not think it was gonna go to this level. But I also understand we have our one voice at times, we never know when that opportunity is, you know that that whatever can be said in that moment, so I appreciate you letting me share what I'm being guided to share that hopefully who's ever hearing this is hearing these words and knowing that how much God loves you and you know, doesn't want this to be happening and that's what I'm being guided to, to share in the in this message. And it says as came out on November 17 of 2016 and it says we are in spirit form with God. We are conscious awareness aware of God and each other, lack physical form, we experience exhilarating joy and unabashed love and devotion to God and revel in his glory. However, I feel a void because we are without human form, to physically connect with each other. God tells me this boy is why He created human bodies for our spirits. God wanted us to experience the beauty of physical touch. He wanted us to experience the incredible bond of embracing another spirit. God also wanted our spirit forms to physically feel the amazing love he has for each of us. It feels so strange to be surrounded by our eternal spirit family, and yet unable to look lovingly into their eyes and give them a hug. I begin to understand the purpose of our human bodies and the importance physical form plays in conveying love, understanding and forgiveness. God tells me that his creation of the human form for spirits to inhabit has led to unforeseen problems. God did not anticipate that occupying a physical body would corrupt our spirit with cravings and desires of the flesh. God tells me he is disappointed by our disobedience. He's offended by our debasement and killing of the eternal family spirits, God is appalled that we have forgotten our spirituality, and have embraced the seven deadly sins to gain influential power over one another. So the God that I'm here to bring to this world now is God is love with an awesome sense of humor. And that is who Winky is behind me and my logo. I just want everybody to know, oh, this is not what God wants. God wants us to love, understand, forgive compassion. That's who God is. And hopefully, with our voices, we can bring that awareness and we can start seeing where is it that people have somehow become broken? And who they are in this more, you know, on this soul level? So thank you for letting me share that on your, on your episode. I hope that whoever hears that those, I'm just a messenger. You know, my irony is not my word. I'm just a messenger of it with just who happens have the last name of my ironic, you know, it's, that's my irony, but

Darleen Wong: 01:02:23

by but works really well.

Alysha Myronuk: 01:02:28

I'm sorry,

Darleen Wong: 01:02:30

works really well.

Alysha Myronuk: 01:02:31

Oh, it does. But I'm just you know, I'm just a messenger of the messages. And I hope that those messages that I was guided to share, help bring hope to whoever is hearing it. And you, my dear, are one of the biggest, bright, brightest shining lights I've ever met. And now I know why we were connected, and so grateful. And I hope that this really does reach around the world and how we can make a difference by sharing our voices and coming together in unity. So I think

Darleen Wong: 01:03:07

the opportunity that you gave me just today to do this, is is worth a lot more than you think. Because I've been trying so hard. And you just you want, you wanted to listen. And so that in itself is is the example we need to show everyone is give the woman the platform for her to feel safe to speak. And let's see what happens. You know, that's where we're going to see what type of magic really happens.

Alysha Myronuk: 01:03:46

I love any, any way I can help you, I will do so I will try to get you I have a lot of friends.

Darleen Wong: 01:03:55

The biggest help in a very long time now.

Alysha Myronuk: 01:03:58

Well, I have a lot of friends in the podcasting space. So we're gonna get your voice out there more and more. So anyway, Darleen, I love you so much. You have more support than I could possibly share in words. And so I anybody who's listening, connect with Darleen, she is a warrior. She's a dragonfly or warrior, a warrior of peace because it's not about violence. No, we have to stand up for ourselves. And we have to stand up for not just women, humanity, you know, we're all equals. No one's better or less than each other when we can start looking at it from that, from that space of compassion. So, anyway, thank you so much. I'm honored that you shared your story. I knew how important this was, but I had no idea to the level of how important your story was to get out. So thank you again, Darleen and yours Oh, welcome to the listeners. I'll see you next time.